Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
