the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
