yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
