Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm too high and old for this...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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