it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
from now on my penis is your penis
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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