Midget sex pt 2 tonight
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
