I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
