I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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