I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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