My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
