I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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