I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
