I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
