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so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
