last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
