normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My vagina just recognized that song.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
