so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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