it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
