i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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