i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
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