She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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