I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
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he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
why is half of my head shaved?
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