watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize