Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
