hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
