The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
