I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
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2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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