Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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