You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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