did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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