Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
