my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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