Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
