Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
