Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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