As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
