She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize