they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
