Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
