see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize