she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
