I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Everyone says I win the strip club
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
