You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
