it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
