Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize