Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
