i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
