thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
