Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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