Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
