When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
