he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
