is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
