idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
