oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
