you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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