that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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