see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
so much tequila, so little girl.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
