I don't think brook has ever known best
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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