Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
