i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
