I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
