Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
