Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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