My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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