I'm jealous of your bromance
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
