i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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