the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
