Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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