He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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