She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
