i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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