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He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
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