wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.