she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!